A new romance seems so easy, doesn’t it? We text all the time, we snuggle — everything seems to be all about this person that we’re so infatuated with. But where do we go when the initial burn of infatuation turns to something else? There’s nothing wrong with the burning desire of new love, but there’s something to be said about the relationship that is built, bit by bit, into something beautiful and complex.
As we know, a good relationship is a mix of different keys and ingredients that all build into something better than the sum of its parts — just like a memory foam mattress. We’ve scoured some of the best minds of this generation and come up with some keys so that you know what to look for, and what to shoot for when building the relationship of your dreams!
Taking an Interest in What Your Partner Does
We all have different interests; dancing, writing, heck, even sleeping, but it’s important to show a real interest in what your partner likes to do. That could be as simple as asking them about their hobbies and really listening to their responses and asking meaningful follow up questions — or it could take other forms.
Maybe you surprise them with a day doing what they want to do, or a gift that can help in their chosen hobby. That could be something big like a desk, workout equipment, or even a memory foam bed (for better dreams and creativity of course) or something as simple as a nice pen and a new notebook.
When you show interest for what your partner likes, it shows that you value them as a real person. It makes them feel wanted and like they can grow together with you, that there’s room for you both in each other’s lives. This is so important when building a relationship into something sturdy and long lasting (dare we say it: just like a good memory foam mattress, built for the long haul)
Positive Regard Means Understanding Where Your Partner Comes from and Where They’re Going
Positive regard doesn’t mean having blinders to who your partner is or what they’ve done. It doesn’t mean thinking that they’ve never done anything bad in their time on this earth, but it does mean that you’re reaching out for an understanding — and that typically this means that you’re seeing their actions in a positive light rather than being distrusting or second guessing them.
As Dr. Will Meek says in his article on what to look for in a positive relationship, “People in healthy relationships tend to see negative things the other person has done as honest mistakes or due to difficult circumstances, and attribute positive things as the result of the other person just being a good person, due to hard work, or other positive character traits.”
This works twofold, first it shows that you trust and love your partner enough to give them the benefit of the doubt. Second, if you and your partner see each other in the best light, you’ll often strive to fit that view for your partner.
Get More Sleep!
Yes, this might sound funny, but it’s true. People who sleep more in a relationship actually empathize with their partner better than people who don’t. That’s right, you heard it correctly: if you spend more time sleeping on your memory foam mattress, it’s going to make you a more attentive and emotionally stable partner. Check this recent study from UC-Berkeley which shows that poor sleep leaves partners feeling emotionally unappreciated.
“”Poor sleep may make us more selfish as we prioritize our own needs over our partner’s,” said Amie Gordon in the study. She is a UC Berkeley psychologist and lead investigator of the study, which used more than 60 couples, ages ranged from 18 to 56. Those couples kept a diary of their sleep patterns and how a good or bad night’s rest affected their appreciation of their significant other. Across the board, the answers were simple: more sleep means a better adjusted relationship.
Grow and Be the Person You Want Your Partner to Be
It goes to show you that a memory foam mattress might just be the best investment that you can make when it comes to your relationship. While it may not gloss over problems, it will keep you emotionally available and attentive to your partner, which turns out to be an essential building block of any relationship.
Know that no matter where you are in your relationship; beginning, middle, or even the end, that looking for these signs can be a great way to grow as a person. We’re always evolving and changing, but like a good memory foam mattress, hopefully we can stay supportive and sensitive to what our partner needs. So, get out there and be the best person you can be! Love is beautiful and so is sleep, you deserve plenty of both!
Sara Johnson graduated from the University of Minnesota with a major in Journalism. From the start, Sara choose technology as her main point of focus. She writes about technology companies and technologies that will one day shape our future. Being an avid gamer, she likes to play PC and console games during her free time.