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Tuesday, October 20, 2020

8 Inappropriate Christmas Gifts

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That particular time of the year is upon us once more! Friends and family will be nearer than before. You must have patiently endured the Thanksgiving gathering. You probably couldn’t shop through Black Friday.

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You conquered Cyber Monday. Now Christmas is closer than ever, and it’s time to figure out some of the most inappropriate gifts you might consider getting or not.

Because there are so many options when it comes to inappropriate gifts for the season, we have decided only to share the much we can in a single article. Honestly, there are several reasons why people want to know what gifts are considered inappropriate for Christmas.

And in a rather hilarious way, one of the reasons is possible that they really want to gift someone something inappropriate (talk about being petty and funny).

Without further ado, let us explore a carefully curated list of inappropriate Christmas presents. You can also check the best Christmas presents for teens here, just in case you some of these individual young adults around you.

Inappropriate Christmas Gift options

1. Grow Your Own Set of Balls Kit

OK, we all indeed know at least one person who is to chicken to do the things expected of them. Let’s say, folks like these desperately needs to grow some balls. Whenever we are with this person at school or at home, we all think about how badly we would love for them to grow some balls. But then, it may not be so nice to purchase a grow your own set of balls kit for the person this Christmas. You never know, that may just be the present they really need.

2. Toilet Golf

What do you shop for when you think about the toilet? That’s right! We think toilet paper, toilet soap, and just maybe some scented balls.

Just because what most people need in the bathroom about a decade ago were more toys and smaller play items, it would have been great to gift someone a game of toilet golf. This gift isn’t so much of a great option now since we have tons of smart devices to keep us busy while we do toilet business.

Today, this once “great Christmas gift option,” is clearly list-worthy. Who on earth does not go with his smartphone to pee and poop? But if you know that one person who has refused to get a smartphone for “toilet use,” then they deserve this inappropriate gift for Christmas.

3. After Dinner Willies

This is a hilarious one. A few years ago, people talked about how chocolate anuses were not a great option when it came to presents, so now that chocolate penises are a thing, there is definitely no way they won’t escape being labeled as an inappropriate Christmas gift option.

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Here’s most likely what will happen if house gift anyone a pack of these for Christmas: You: “Hey xxx, Merry Christmas. Here’s what I got you.”

XXX: “Oh! A box of delicious winnies? I don’t know how to feel about this, but thanks for the sweet penises”.

Worst-case scenario is unimaginable, so it’s best to stay away from the edible penises this Christmas.

4. Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure

Typically, for kids and even some adults, action figures are a great option when it comes to buying Christmas gifts.

However, when you have that one friend, neighbor, or family member who always has problems dealing with her cats and always has her pajamas on, you must never make her feel worse by gifting her a crazy cat lady action figure for Christmas.

Even the meanest person knows everything about this action figure is not friendly, and gifting someone something like this not “Jolly.”

5. Hot Dog and Marshmallow Roasters

Everything is becoming smart and easy these days. And sometimes, we can agree that form and function may just work hand-in-hand to make great products.

However, just because we can do whatever we want, like creating a marshmallows and hot dogs roaster, doesn’t mean we should. And also, it isn’t really cool to watch both foods cook on a roaster at the same time.

Do not be tempted to gift this intimidating piece of appliance to anyone this season.

6. Dear Fatty Magnet

I can’t deny the fact that I may have to order a bunch of these refrigerator magnets for someone I know, but it is not the perfect gift for someone I genuinely care about.

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Unless you are sure that after gifting someone these magnets, you will disappear forever, NEVER buy one for someone you can’t avoid. Sure, many of us foodies need to have this magnet on the front of our refrigerator.

7. Snow Globe Sweaters

We know that cold weather is the best recipe for stiff and hard nipples. And no one needs to be told how hard nipples are not the best when you’re around family members.

We don’t want your headlights on all day if we are not your significant other. It is inappropriate to gift someone little toboggans for the holidays. They are cute, but save them for the bedroom.

8. Gotta Go Poncho

No one is sure where they will need to travel to and find this poncho useful. I am one of the many women who do not like to use public toilets, so perhaps if you are like me, this would be an option.

But then, it is almost impossible to imagine anyone who would need this as a Christmas gift. This gift will come in handy one of these days when you decide to visit the wild or when you’re on a road trip.

This has been an exciting write for me, and I’d love to assume it has been a good read for you too. It isn’t true that most people won’t find at least one of these gifts useful, so make up your mind on which one you’d rather risk buying.

There are so many other inappropriate gift ideas I left out of this article, and I’d appreciate it if you shared some with me. Leave a comment below.8 Inappropriate Christmas Gifts

Happy Holiday, and Merry Christmas!

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Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

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