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Tuesday, October 20, 2020

Important Discussions to Have Before Moving in Together

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So you’ve been dating this person for a while now, and you’re tired of being apart well that feeling is one that almost everybody understands so it’s time to move in together, but there are certain things that you need to consider.

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Deciding to move with your partner means that you have decided to take a giant step of both your emotional faith and financial faith. This is one decision that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

So before you start deciding when to move in together, get a pen and paper, sit down, and start planning so that you don’t end up fighting about petty things.

1. How you should divide the finances:

One factor that causes major problems when people are moving together is money. Impact research had shown that a lot of couples who are moving together which they are discussed how to divide finances before they took on their new life.

A few months or weeks before you moving together think out some time to sit down and discuss how exactly you would love your finances to be split especially when it comes to major bills like water bill electricity bill and even groceries and other household essentials.

2. What to do whenever you need space:

It is hard to spend all your time in an apartment with just one person regardless of how much you love that person you are times when you will need to be alone. Remember how is it used to be for you to just grab your things and storm out the door whenever you had a fight?

Well you don’t have the privilege anymore. Now that the both of you show is symbolic space it is important that you figure out what you’re going to do whenever you need space and discuss it so that you can understand each other better.

Some couples just made up their mind to pick one day every week where they spend time apart from each other because it will give them time to think clearly and even miss each other.

There’s so much to benefit from spending some time alone even though when you love someone you think you never want to be away from them.

3. Talk about to your daily chore schedule

Even though you would begin to figure out gradually what your significant others cleaning habits are once you both have moved in together you must always make it a priority to tell him or her your expectations and thoughts when it comes to household chores.


It is best at the both of you agree from the start who would be doing the dishes and we will be taking out the trash or document the house so that you do not have argument.

4. Cooking

If you’re not one of those people who like to order a pizza or eat out, then it is also important that you discussed cooking. Most of the time, people just assume a lady must cook, but some men would rather make dinner.

This is not compulsory. However, it depends on what you and your significant other wants. If you would love to share the cooking responsibility, then have that discussed before you moving together.

Other things to look out for

Before you talk about moving in with the person you are dating, take your time to look at how they take care of the apartment they leave in.

If you’re not comfortable with their cleaning habits, then it is best that you do not even have the discussion of moving in together so that you do not have to deal with arguments and fights regularly.

Another thing you need to consider is their spending habits. How much do they earn and how much do they spend? If you feel like you work harder than they do, and you have a better saving and spending habits, you might also want to discuss that with them.

You don’t want a situation where you end up spending more money, and your significant other just sits back and watches you.

If the person you’re living with is extravagant with spending, then you might want to make them understand that moving in together is a big deal and you would like a both of you to live within your means. Their response while you’re talking is what will determine whether or not you should take the bold step.

The kind of visitors you should receive is also something you might want to discuss with your significant other. is he or she somebody that has lots of friends and would always have visitors around?

If you’re not comfortable with this, you need to make them understand that at this point the both of you will be sharing a single space and your privacy needs to be respected.


You should also talk about habits like drinking and smoking if you’re not comfortable with your partner smoking in the apartment you need to discuss it with them beforehand so that they can find someone else where they can engage in their smoking activities.

Even if you would allow them smoking the house if you would know what their friends to come over to smoke or drink you should also have that discussed.

If you are a dog or cat lover, that also should be handled before the both of you moving together. Your partner may not be a fan of pets, or your partner may have a couple of pets that will be moving in with them. Discuss how all your pets can live together and if either of you have plans of getting more animal buddies.

Before the both of you move in together it is certain that you must have discussed it with friends and other family members. But the fact remains that it boils down to what the both of you decide if you feel moving in together is the best option for you then why not go ahead and do so.

Do not be afraid that talking about what you expect from your partner when you are moving will be awkward. It is best that you talk before you start than deal with complications later.

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Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

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