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Thursday, October 22, 2020

The Healing Separation

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It is not uncommon to hear couples say “I need a Break”. It doesn’t necessarily mean a breakup or an end to a relationship. Relationships are like rubber, if pulled and stressed too hard, it snaps and at times, might be too late to salvage.

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Couples, who can afford it, go to see a professional for relationship counselling. This method has been proven to help many relationships over time but, what if you can’t afford a Relationship Counselor? What if you and your partner are not comfortable allowing a third party into your relationship? Does that mean you have to give up on your relationship?

I know you’ve tried talking it out. You’ve gone on vacations together to have some alone time with your partner. Your attempt at making it work only made it worse. You argue more when you try to talk about the problem in your relationship. The resentment is growing stronger by the day, and this is only because you both keep doing the same thing, over and over and over.

You have been using the same method to tackle something so delicate, and this not only stresses the bond between you two but also causes unwanted stress in your daily lives. You both have tried it all but have you tried “Separation”? Yes. Separation.

There is magic in Healing Separation

Healing Separation is merely a well-planned and structured time apart from your partner for the sole purpose of healing a relationship that isn’t working. The goal of Healing separation is to help couples to not only revitalise their love life, renew the bond in their relationship but also to help couples focus on themselves by moving from being emotionally needy to improving and growing physically, mentally and psychologically for a healthier relationship for not only themselves but with each other.

Creating time to adopt this method also helps them understand their weaknesses and strengthen every loophole in their individual lives and in their relationship. It also helps couples focus on areas they’ve been missing and failing to acknowledge, and this helps give a better understanding of how to fix these areas.

The Healing Separation works if couples focus on improving on their personal growth and concentrate on themselves individually. These not only empowers the couples but it gives them a foresight of things they’ve been missing when the primary focus was just the relationship and not themselves.

Healing Separation allows couples to see how important they are outside a relationship and help them wade off any form of negativity.

Healing Separation as it is also known as “Trail Separation” involves partners living apart for a while, with the decision to either end the relationship or not until a giving period. The arrangement discussed with your partner has to be fully understood and the meaning well delivered so both partners understand it is not the END of a relationship but should be seen as stepping back and reflecting on their lives for a better and healthier relationship.

The true meaning of “Healing Separation” has to be well relayed, so nothing is misconstrued. Discuss elaborately and explain when an explanation is needed and make your partner understand without sending the wrong information.


Partners have to understand that the aim is to invest time in their lives for personal growth, by actualising a better relationship with themselves individually and by so doing, creating a healthier relationship with each other and it doesn’t necessarily indicate an end to the relationship.

The Healing Separation is a form of shedding by doing away with the old relationship by strengthening both parties and building a new relationship without dissolving the partnership. Partners need to, however, understand that unplanned and unstructured Separation will likely end badly as both partners might be doing it wrong, hence the need for well-structured and comprehensive guidelines to help make the Healing Separation work towards a better creative Healing experience.

Partners should consider the following:

  • Couples need to respect each other’s time and space outside the love relationship for spiritual, social, mental, emotional and personal growth.
  • Couples need to be really to help each other achieve their aim for better, faster and stronger growth. This also helps build trust between partners.
  • Couples need to be able to bond as friends first as they are going through healing and should wade off every form of distraction such as Sex.
  • Couples also need to understand that growth is personal, so partners need to learn to communicate their growth to each other.
  • Distance a factor. Distance should be well respected as it plays a significant role in strengthening partners going through the Healing Separation.
  • For effective relationship transformation, couples should be able to a healing friendly environment.

How you improve personally is up to you as an individual. The steps you take to achieving your goals are also up to you but below are tips to follow should you consider the Healing Separation method.

  1. Eat healthily: Making sure what you ingest into your body is very important.
  2. Exercises: Register at a gym if you have to. Show your body some self-love.
  3. Read: Feeding your brain is fundamental. Now you have the time to invest in yourself by reading the books you never had the time for.
  4. Look even better: Go to a saloon, get a clean haircut, smell sweet, dress well. You would sense tremendous changes in yourself once you start investing in how you look generally.
  5. Learn new Things: In your spare time, learn new skills, expand your knowledge about the world around you. Don’t settle for limited.
  6. Music: Listen to good melodies. Good music speaks directly to the soul.
  7. Laugh more: laughter has been proven to help make one live longer and look even more beautiful.
  8. Think Positive: By starting off with a clean start, it is only imperative that your thoughts should be positive as it gives you a good view of what to look out for.
  9. Stay in touch: Maintain good communication with your partner. Understand that you are not healing alone and that constant communication keeps the love between the two of you.
  10. Love: Don’t forget to maintain love in your heart as it is a vital ingredient to Healing for both yourself and your partner.
Oluwafemi Michael
Oluwafemi Michael is an online Mental Health Therapist, Advocate for Mental Health Awareness, a programmer, and also a content creator from Edo state, Akoko-Edo LG.

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