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Thursday, October 22, 2020

The Correct Way to Flirt With a Girl

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Once you start growing to know that girls are a lot different from you, or you realise that boys can be so handsome even when all they wear is a  pair of trousers and a shirt, flirting begins.

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Kids flirt, teenagers flirt, adults flirt, the difference is the intention. Anyway, we are focused on flirting in adult male humans so we can leave the kids to engage in their innocent teasing and assume they have no idea what they are doing.

The urban dictionary has the most spot-on definition for flirting that I have come across. It defines it as “A person who is innocently overly friendly, especially the type of friendliness that is interpreted as seduction.

Actions may include: giving away your number, blowing kisses, caressing, and free lap-dances.” Now, what other definition goes broader than that?  We do not recommend that you go about giving everyone you like a lap dance, it might be taking things a little off the hook.

Most times guys complain about how they try to flirt with a girl and the next minute she’s running away from them like they’re serial killers.

I promise to teach my daughters how to not only run away but warn their friends also to run away from your sons if you do not show them the difference between flirting and making a girl uncomfortable.

Seriously though, some of you guys try too hard, and it makes flirting creepy.
I advise you read this through to the end if you want to know how “not to fuck things up” the next time you meet a girl you would want to flirt with.

Flirt With a Girl

1. Be yourself

Life is a lot easier for people who stay true to themselves no matter what happens. It is inconsequential what your intentions for flirting are.

It truth remains that if you are looking just to be friends and hoping some connection occurs along the line, it is only safe to present yourself as the shy person or the simple person that you are. The fact remains that nobody ever died from being themselves so be yourself everyone else is taken.


2. Never put any pressure on yourself or the lady

Flirting is supposed to be a light and fun intersection void of pressure.

Some guys do not understand that the moment they start expecting too much from a girl they met seconds ago, they begin to become annoying and invasive. Just be friendly and chat like a rational human being and see how the interaction goes.

Sometimes you may to lucky to establish a connection strong enough to land you a kiss and other times a slap on the face. It depends on how you play your cards. Eliminate any form of pressure and just ask for a coffee date if the flirting goes well don’t ask for a dinner date yet.

3. Make eye contact

Girls love it when you focus on them regardless of the distractions around. So you are looking to flirt with a pretty girl, make eye contact and maintain it but never stare too hard, so she doesn’t feel like you are looking into her soul (that also is very creepy).

Asides, when you are flirting, making eye contact with people when you talk, is excellent for creating a positive impression.

If I must add, something is charming about a guy who can focus and wear a smile at the same time. So no matter where you are, make sure that as you converse you make eye contact and you maintain it.

4. Pay attention to your surrounding

Your flirting activities should be restricted to what is acceptable within your environment. Make sure to read the signs correctly, so you don’t get sued for sexual harassment.

When you are at work, you should make sure to avoid any act of touching or use of words that may be interpreted as sexually harassing.

If you are in a coffee shop, try not to be too loud so people don’t think you are crazy and the girl doesn’t walk out on you.

Just try to make people feel comfortable with your behaviour in different environments. It is a straightforward thing to do especially if you pay attention to how other people around you conduct themselves.


5. Come up with a distracting activity

You don’t have to make it evident that you are flirting. If you go to the same school, find an activity that brings the both of you to the same place at the same time and just make it seem like that’s the reason you get to see her often.

If she’s someone you just met randomly, tell her about some fun activity that’s coming up in town or asks her what things she likes to do.

Once she mentions something that would need people’s interest, pretend to be interested. You could say “Oh, you love to paint! I have been looking to buy a painting for some time, but I haven’t had the time to look for one.

Would you mind showing me some of your works?” or you could just say you love art so you would like to see her works sometime.

There are a million activities that can bring the both of you to the same place at the same time without making her feel uncomfortable. So just look for something nice that suggests a hookup.

6. Compliment her but use the right words

“Oh, your skirt is so short and I can see your laps, and I feel turned on already.” Some body’s son actually said that to a girl before, and the story didn’t have a happy ending. Complimenting a girl is something every guy should know how to do.

Words like Nice necklace, where did you get it? Or I think you have a sweet taste for perfumes, are perfect examples of decent yet charming ways to compliment a lady. So make sure always to say beautiful things to a lady you are interested in but don’t do it like a jerk.

7. Be funny and Don’t try to be funny

If you are a naturally funny guy, then go ahead and make the lady laugh. But if you know you are not gifted in that aspect, don’t try too hard to be funny.

Just engage in a simple conversation and wait for something strange to happen around you so the both of you can laugh.

8. Touch

Slight touches are great but the atmosphere has to be right, and the lady has to have indicated an interest in contacts.


I hate being touched by guys who are trying to flirt so once you try to hold my hand inappropriately, I walk away without looking back. So do not be invasive with body contacts.

9. Do not be desperate

Yes, you are interested in a girl but do not try to force it. That’ll mean you are selfish and have evil intentions. Just let it flow and if it works, good. If it doesn’t work, at least you made a friend. Move on with your life and don’t burn bridges because you didn’t get the romance you were expecting.

10. No is a word

Once a girl says No, respect it. No means No, and it’s the shortest specific word on the planet.

Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

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