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Thursday, October 22, 2020

7 Things You Could Do to Stop Loving Someone Who Doesn’t Love You

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Love, as they say, is a very powerful thing. Falling in love who doesn’t love you back can have a severe effect on your self-esteem and self-confidence. The psychological implications of being in this position range from the feeling of unhappiness, easily irritated, depression and dissatisfaction with yourself.

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This unhealthy feeling should be gotten rid of as soon as possible, and in this article, we would be discussing to get over the unrequited love and how to start anew. The steps we would be discussing below would help you forget about your pain of a failed love affair and move on into a positive state.

He or she doesn’t need you

You need to come to terms with the fact that this person doesn’t need you again, even if the realisation of this might hurt. The person you love may make this known in many ways and wouldn’t care how you feel, as long as you are getting the message, no matter how painful it is. Accepting this fact, “that your feelings are being toyed with and not reciprocated”, then you are on the right track.

I’d like for you to consider if at all you mean anything to the person you love so dearly and if they feel the same way you feel about them. Are your feelings reciprocated? Do they pick your calls or reply to your texts? Are they emotionally available when you need them to be? Do you have to beg for them to give you attention?

Get distracted

As it is popularly said, “Out of sight is out of mind”. I’d recommend that you consider staying as far away as possible from the person you are crazy about before you do something you might regret.

A long vacation, change your number, location change, a break from the internet if possible and anything to take you away from the stress of having to deal with not being loved back. Ensure you cut off contacts with them, and try channeling your stream of stream of your thoughts to other direction.

Focus on your personal dreams and things you might likely be interested in. You should do things that make you happy, and focus your attention on you and not on someone who doesn’t care about you.

Self-care

One of the downsides of being heart-broken is getting absorbed in dark thoughts and paying less and less attention to yourself. This form of neglect might include not having your bath, brushing your teeth, combing your hair, or even eating. It is essential that, no matter what you feel and how you feel, pay attention to your health. Even if the pain coursing through your heart causes you to lose interest in social activities, get active.

Shower yourself with some self-love, hang out with your friends, surround yourself with people who mean well for you, go swimming, change your hair, get your nails done, enjoy a nice bottle of red wine, get some chocolates, go shopping; get yourself a lovely gown. Do anything that pulls love towards you.

Avoid drowning yourself in alcohol, and avoid smoking too much (if you have to smoke at all). We all know the difference between good and evil, so it is crucial you avoid doing what’s bad for your health.

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Talk to people with similar issues

At one point or another, someone somewhere is going through the same thing you are. Heartbreak is as universal as finding true love and many people have gone through the experience of heartbreak, unrequited love and pain, and got past it.

Talk to those close to you about how you feel, let them share the tales of their experience and how they survived it. Sometimes “I understand how you feel” are all you need to hear. The goal is to move on from your current state, so it is best not to dwell on the topic.

Dwelling for too long is like suffering twice. The theme of unrequited love is prevalent, and it’s easy to find materials such as books, movies and art that can help you to get over them.

Completely let go

An Indian proverb has it that, if your horse is dead, dismount. They probably must have made promises to love you till thy kingdom come, to love you for eternity but only failed and broke your heart. Our minds love to play tricks on us and would find ways to remind us of those promises and hopes that would only cause us pain.

Waiting for someone to love you back when they feel nothing for you, isn’t worth it. It is best to let go and move on. There is no point justifying the feeling they never had for you just because your hope for you and the person is high.

When someone feels nothing for you, they won’t be afraid to show it and can come up with a million excuses not to spend time with you. Shouldn’t this be reason enough for you to let things be?

Exercise

You could channel your energy into physical activities in order to restore your emotional balance. This method is quite effective, as it allows you to build yourself physically and distract yourself positively.

Jogging early in the mornings, swimming, or registering at a fitness class are some ways to keep the blood pumping. You could try dance classes, sports, arts and singing. Have as much fun with yourself as possible and watch your mental state take healthier shape.

Control your anger

We win some, and we lose some. There are some things we have no control over. That’s life, and it is best we learn to move on and let go without letting our emotions get the best of us.

Not all men are the same. Not all women are “bitches”. There is no point getting angry at the world just because you tried and it didn’t work. Love would definitely find you, and even quicker if you approach it with a positive mindset.

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One thing you should also note is that no one is in charge of your happiness. Because it didn’t work with Mrs A, doesn’t mean Mrs B would treat you the same way.  No one wants to be in a relationship because they feel sorry for you and know you want to be loved. It wouldn’t end well at all. Take your time and find the person who would love you genuinely from the depth of their heart.

Have you had a bitter experience with being in love before? How did you get over it? Please share some of the tips that aren’t listed above in the comments.

Oluwafemi Michael
Oluwafemi Michael is an online Mental Health Therapist, Advocate for Mental Health Awareness, a programmer, and also a content creator from Edo state, Akoko-Edo LG.

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