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Sunday, October 25, 2020

7 Scary Things About Dating Afresh

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So, I recently got out of a relationship as a result of cultural differences, but I’m glad to announce that I’m on the mend right now and I feel pretty good.

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In order to get past all the crying and heartache I decided to catch up with some friends that I hadn’t seen in a long time, and I also cleaned out every corner of my room while I indulge in some red wine.

Everything was going on just fine until a friend asked if it was OK for her to hook me up with someone. That was the point where I began to panic terribly. The thought of having to go into another relationship at some point left me with terrible headaches.

Just maybe unlike the average girl, I am more prone to neurosis, but I have a long list of things that I fear about this baby stages of a new relationship. You can call it my worst case scenario if you wish.

Sometimes I just wish it was possible to skip all the complicated early parts of dating and just moved to that part where we are both comfortable with each other, and we can sit on the couch what one of our favourite movies and just sleep off from there.

As you read further, I’ll be exposing you to 7 of the scariest things about the first stages of a relationship. These things might not be scared to you, but to me, they can pass for my worst nightmare.

1. Silence

For people who know me quite well they can easily pour me a big talker I can keep a conversation going for hours with the people are possible with or even when I’m upset with myself and just want to talk to my wall.

However, when I go out on dates with new people, I fear the part of silence, not because I would have nothing to say but because I wouldn’t know what would be interesting enough for my date.

Whenever I am faced with the conversation gap during a date, I try to make up for it by talking about almost anything at all, but at the end of the day I just might end up looking like a lunatic because I may say something that just doesn’t sound right.

I remember talking about how many bars I have been to in my city during one of my dates and I had the guy looking at me like “Are you for real?”


2. The first kiss

This is the part where I feel like I could just be better off as a princess who would kiss a frog and turn him into a handsome prince. I keep thinking about when the first kiss will happen, where it will happen, and even how awkward it might be.

Then I have a long list of what ifs in my head; what if he has a terrible breath? What if he decides to shove his tongue down my throat? What if his teeth bump with mine? And the worst part is what if I don’t even feel the kiss?

3. Visiting his place for the first time

I also get think about how it would be visiting a guys place for the first time what if he is a slug a holder or even a cat owner? I begin to wonder if he is a dirty guy, what if he doesn’t have clean towels? What if his bed sheets have been on his bed for weeks or maybe even one of those people who hate books?

I can go on and on with all the thoughts in my head. and eventually when I visit his place, I just might have my eyes racing around searching for anything that would scare me and give me an excuse to run out the door.

4. My first night and morning at his place

So after successfully making it past the first date and kissing him and finally getting to know his place it now comes to spending my first night and this part scares me so bad.

I consider it in the major trial because this is the part where I get to find out whether he snores sleepwalks or even wakes up in a lousy mood terrible enough for me to just disappear forever.

The worst part would be what if the sex is terrible what if he doesn’t know how to use his penis just right when it is one of those guys who just want to go in bang bang bang and not even think of foreplay?

Sex is one thing that I take seriously, and I always want to make sure that every sexual experience I have is not one that I would regret so if I am sacrificing my night in a man’s house I would hate myself if I get anything less than my expectation.

5. The bikini line

OK, somehow I want to believe this fear is not only mine but one that affects every other girl. If you’re a regular waxer, you would know that getting naked during your three weeks wait can be quite a challenge.

In my head, I will be thinking “OK what if he sees me as a dirty girl because I have some hair down there? What if I just decided to tell a lie and wait till the next week before I get naked?” it’s fucking crazy.


6. His nakedness

There are a couple of things I can’t handle about a man’s nakedness those things include back hair, maybe a sixth toe, and a big belly button.

Not like I am someone to body shame anybody, but sometimes I just might be stupid enough not to hold back my laughter, and that definitely will be very embarrassing for both of us.

7. The period

Arrgghhh! This is one thing I can’t stand about being a female. The red robot can show up anytime without even giving you a notice.

The complex part is how do I tell him that my period began during brunch or that I need a tampon? What if somehow I bleed on his bed sheet while he’s asleep or he gets irritated by the thought or sight of blood?

My fears are countless, and these are just seven that I am bold enough to share with you. So ladies, what are your greatest fears about getting into a new relationship? Trust me when I say I would like to know all about it.

All you have to do is reach out to me via the comment section below, and I will be ready to indulge you.

Emmanuella Ekokotu
Ekokotu Emmanuella is a sociologist and Anthropologist, writer, and fashion model who lives in Benin city, Edo state,Nigeria.

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